Oppo Battles #1: Give me the keys, Grandpa

"TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H!" (theloudmusic) 10/27/2014 at 12:27 • Filed to: Oppo battles

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(Welcome to Oppo Battles, maybe semi-regular post where we pit Opponaut's cars against one anther.)

This week, we are having a bout between ShelbyRacer78's Mercury Sable and Jake, Pilot of the Murdersofa's Buick LeSabre. On to the cars!

Let's start with the Sable. It is a 2002 with the DOHC 24 valve 3.0 Duratec. What this car lacks in displacement, it makes up for it in being loud. Like seriously loud.

The cars mods started with an intake, a more free flowing muffler wierd exhausty thing, and (PLASTIDIP IS NOT A MOD) coating assorted things in Plastidip.

One of these is a Sable. How awesome is that?!

Here is what Shelby has to say about his car.

Now, on to the Buick LeSabre MurderSofa. It was made in the height of GM's pandering to old people, 2000. This new millennium oldster cruiser has the venerable Series II 3800 V6. The car even gets Autocrossed as often as possible, so we know all about its awesome body roll handling prowess.

Mods include that massive pool air filter, a tune, a set of alloy wheels, a handcrafted exhaust, and (PLASTIDIP IS NOT A MOD) it has been Plastidipped matte black with a red stripe (YAY BEER).

(The Buick in it's usual setting)

Here is what JPOTMS has to say.

So, all being said, who do you think has the most awesome senior center battering ram?

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Lumpy44, Proprietor Of Fine Gif > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 12:31

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I like these. I want to see them more. Yupp.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 12:32

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Note: I suck at proofreading. The pdf says 3.4l V6, and it's a 3.8l. Unfortunately, I am far too lazy (and under the weather atm) to fix it.

505Turbeaux > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 12:33

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Dat zero fucks given Buick

Your boy, BJR > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 12:34

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when can my "escalade" be entered?

Jayhawk Jake > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 12:35

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It's not body roll, it's passive weight transfer technology.

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Your boy, BJR 10/27/2014 at 12:37

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The moment when you hit me up on Facebook , and find someone else's similar car to compare the hoodest muhfukkin whip ever to.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 10/27/2014 at 12:39

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Under the weather? Technically we are all under the weather for the sky (where weather comes from) is above us. Well everyone except those in the ISS is under the weather, The ISS Crew Members are above the weather.

crowmolly > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 12:39

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Heat wrap that crossover for colder air induction, yo

Your boy, BJR > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 12:40

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I'm calling out silvestro's FiST

Because fuck logic

(seriously, don't ask about the seal on the door)

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 12:40

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Oooh Oooh me next!

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s 10/27/2014 at 12:41

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SMART AAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS :P

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Your boy, BJR 10/27/2014 at 12:43

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President Benjamin J. Roland in 2016

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 10/27/2014 at 12:43

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I know, Im full of shit, but you know what? We all are, its called the digestive system. But seriously, How ya feeling?

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/27/2014 at 12:44

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Message me on the Facebooks.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s 10/27/2014 at 12:45

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Shitty. Didn't get much sleep, woke up two hours before my alarm, then stumbled my way to class and failed an early-morning test, now I'm sitting here and someone replaced my eyes with pain spheres and my brain with oatmeal.

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 10/27/2014 at 12:47

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Nothin like Oatmeal and Pain Spheres to start your morning.

Dusty Ventures > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 13:05

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On the one hand I'd like to get in on this. On the other hand entering the desert truck or the rally car would probably be unfair.

...I guess I could enter the Outback

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Dusty Ventures 10/27/2014 at 13:07

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You can message me on Facebook.

Dusty Ventures > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 13:11

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What if I don't have Facebook?

Jayhawk Jake > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s 10/27/2014 at 13:11

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Depends on how you define 'weather'. Airplanes generally fly over clouds and stuff.

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Dusty Ventures 10/27/2014 at 13:15

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my Kinja name at google's email service dot com

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Jayhawk Jake 10/27/2014 at 13:15

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But also Under the clouds, So if your in a plane technically youre in the weather

Jayhawk Jake > Denver Is Stuck In The 90s 10/27/2014 at 13:17

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Not if you're flying above it with nothing but atmosphere above you

Denver Is Stuck In The 90s > Jayhawk Jake 10/27/2014 at 13:18

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Technicalities

Jayhawk Jake > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 13:22

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I'll message you later.

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Jayhawk Jake 10/27/2014 at 13:25

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Facebook or email?

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Your boy, BJR 10/27/2014 at 13:26

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Hell nah! My FoST vs. his FiST; this is long overdue and needs to/will happen.

Your boy, BJR > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 10/27/2014 at 13:29

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I fail to see how a Fo/FiST match up makes more sense than a FiST/Honda Pilot matchup.

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 10/27/2014 at 13:31

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Message me on the Book of many Faces.

ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 13:34

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Wow I thought I would have more votes....

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier 10/27/2014 at 13:36

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Imma re-share it in a while. Also, feel free to post a link to this on Facebook or forums. The more responses, the better.

ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 13:38

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Maybe...

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier 10/27/2014 at 13:40

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I can see it now... a post on the Taurus forum saying "CLICK THIS LINK AND VOTE FOR MY SABLE OR I WILL BANHAMMER YOU SO HARD THEY WILL SHUT YOUR INTERNET OFF"

Jayhawk Jake > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 13:40

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Either

ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 13:42

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This needs to be front paged...

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 13:48

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This needs to be a regular thing.

I don't even think there's anyone else on here who I could compete against with the Safari.

(Also, GO MURDER SOFA)

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 13:50

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GOTTA GO MERCURY

WE MUST STICK TOGETHER:

Brian Silvestro > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 10/27/2014 at 13:54

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I voted for you solely because AutoX.

OPPO AUTOX CREW 4 LIFE

Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 14:15

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I got a good suggestion.

Struggling to choose between these two. *CHOICES*

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Brian Silvestro 10/27/2014 at 14:56

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AutoX sofa 4 lyfe

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 10/27/2014 at 14:56

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YEAH! GO GM LUXURY MEDIOCRITY!

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > 505Turbeaux 10/27/2014 at 14:57

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Someone get /Drive out here immediately.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > crowmolly 10/27/2014 at 14:58

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That would actually probably help intake temps a lot. That pipe gets INSANELY hot and is almost touching the throttle body. Hot-air induction, baby.

crowmolly > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 10/27/2014 at 15:01

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I don't think you live in an area where the TB would ice up.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > crowmolly 10/27/2014 at 15:06

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I dunno, outdoor parking in Kansas during the winter can get sketchy.

ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 10/27/2014 at 16:59

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YESSSSS

CB > ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier 10/27/2014 at 20:42

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It was close for me. Because that sound is criminally good.

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage 10/27/2014 at 21:58

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.koobecaF no egassem a em dneS

Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 22:03

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?esrever ni gnitirw ew era yhW

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage 10/27/2014 at 22:16

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.yadot semit 03 tuoba "koobecaF no em egasseM" depyt ev'I esuaceB

Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 22:20

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.ahctog loL

I'm dumb, I sent you one earlier. I'm Lucas McReynolds. Sorry if I didn't respond, phone kinda died.

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage 10/27/2014 at 22:29

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I don't see you. Which Lucas McReynolds are you? There are at least 7 of you.

Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 22:31

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Should be the one with a silver C4 as the profile pic. I'll just try to message you again.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 22:31

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I don't have a The Facebook account. Is email OK? And what would I put in the message?

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 10/27/2014 at 22:42

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^that username at google's email service dom com. I need a list of mods and pics. I also highly suggest the PDF thing, as that helps me out a lot, and at least in the case of this one, were very entertaining to read.

TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! > Tuned-Port-Injected-Rage 10/27/2014 at 22:43

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I gotcha.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > TheLOUDMUSIC- Put it in H! 10/27/2014 at 22:49

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I'll get right on it.

Tohru > ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier 10/28/2014 at 01:31

1

I voted for you.

Tohru > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 10/28/2014 at 01:32

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I voted against you just because you don't like the Buick Roadmaster. Now you learn that actions have consequences, young padawan.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Tohru 10/28/2014 at 08:46

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...when did I ever say I don't like it? I've been wanting an LT1 powered battlewagon for YEARS, mate.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier 10/28/2014 at 10:08

1

I feel like you should find a way to have the above logo added to your sable

ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 10/28/2014 at 10:47

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Already on it.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier 10/28/2014 at 10:53

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Cool, I gotta see about getting them onto the Milan.

I wonder if I could get center caps for my stock wheels with the god head logo?!

Tohru > Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To 10/28/2014 at 12:10

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http://oppositelock.jalopnik.com/but-it-has-a-w…

You said it has a bad interior, is slow, and gets bad mileage. Blasphemer.

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To > Tohru 10/28/2014 at 12:18

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Well, yeah, in stock form when compared with a Buick Park Avenue Ultra (which is what I was doing) that's perfectly true.

My grandma is very likely buying that Roadmaster though. I'm going to talk to her and possibly email the seller about a test drive. She used to have one until replacing it with a Chrysler Town and Country, which she says was an enormous mistake (I've driven it, that damn thing is GUTLESS).